Demosthenes says it best!

When people ask me what purpose a Hetaera serves in our fair city, I immediately think about this explanation that my old friend Demosthenes gave. He's quoted as saying:

"We have hetaerae for pleasure, pallakae (pornai) to care for our daily body's needs and wives to bear us legitimate children and to be faithful guardians of our households."


Now, I can't speak to the roles of the pornai or the wives, but I am certainly glad that the one mention of pleasure goes to us. Cause that's our job. We offer what no other class of woman can in Ancient Athens. A true companion of the opposite sex. Nope, you won't find a smarter or more charming set of ladies than the Hetaera. We went to school for this stuff!

Open Letter to Athenian Wives.

"Besides, is not a 'companion' more kindly than a wedded wife? Yes, far more, and with a very good reason. For the wife, protected by the law, stays at home in proud contempt, whereas the harlot knows that man must be bought by her fascinations or she must go out and find another."
-Athenaeus

Dear Wife of an Athenian Citizen who snubbed me on the street the other day,

Do not worry, I, as a Hetaera, am NOT looking to take your place. While you have the comfort of home and children and all the luxuries afforded to you under the Athenian law, I have one thing that you do not; Freedom. Freedom to walk around on my own. Freedom to choose my own lovers. Freedom to make my own money and spend it as I wish. But more than anything, I have the freedom to learn anything and everything that I want to learn. I am just as accomplished as you are in the domestic arts, however I am also accomplished in the arts of the public. Politics, Rhetoric, wit, music and entertainment are afforded me because of my "low" station in this community. So, stop worrying about me. I will entertain, amuse, entice, live with and accompany your husbands out in society and at the Symposiums, but I will never be relegated to the station that you seem to hold in such high regard in the bosom of your family home. And I will forever be thankful for that!

The life of a Hetaera is an uncertain one to be sure, but it is the closest us women will ever get to enjoying the lives that men lead and I wouldn't give that up for any amount of security.

Shocked? You shouldn't be. For every day you spend turning your noses up at us for not being of a certain class, there is another day that we spend enjoying life to it's fullest.

So, remember that next time you and your friends are mocking us on the way to the temple.

Love,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Hetaera.

All Hail the Great Aspasia.

They just don't make 'em the way they used to, do they? I was just having a conversation with Athenaeus about who we thought was the greatest Heteara in history and without missing a beat, we both said "Aspasia." I mean, the woman practically ran this place when she worked and lived here. Her school was notorious for educating the likes of Socrates, Plato and of course, the great love of her life, the General Pericles. She influenced some of the greatest men in our recent history with her rhetoric and political knowledge. I couldn't be more in awe of this woman who took her standing as a free woman in Athenian society and turned it into a life of culture, grace and family. Don't get me wrong, she had her bad times too, remember that messy Samos/Miletus ordeal? But was that really her fault? Come on, she wasn't even aloud to get married in this town, let alone make the call to go to war.

Well, even though she's long gone, this "Hetaera of the Month" award goes to Aspasia. May we all do our best to follow in your gloriously sandal-ed footsteps!

The Beauty Of Phyrne is her best defense!

Talk about a defense! Today, the hetaera Phyrne was standing trial for supposedly "profaning" the Eleusinian Mysteries.

When the verdict looked like it wasn't going to turn out in her favor, girlfriend TOOK HER ROBES OFF AND EXPOSED HER NAKED BODY! According to Athenaeus, the site was so divinely beautiful that she was acquitted.

I mean, it makes sense, this celebrated companion of Praxiteles was rumored to be the model for his famous sculpture Aphrodite of Cnidus. And, also sat for Apelles for his Venus Anadyomene.


Good Zeus, that was a bold move! I'm glad it payed off for her!

Why Can't I be like Thaïs? Some girls have all the luck.

Ugh! Sometimes I feel like I just can't make any progress with these men. Sometimes I go to the Symposium and I'm just invisible. Do you ever feel that way?

Why can't I be like Thaïs? This girl travels to Persepolis with Alexander the Great and says "I think you should burn down the Palace." And he DOES IT!

Some nights I can't even get a patron to buy me dinner. It's just so unfair. I mean, what's she got that I don't?

It's Just the Way it Goes, Gentlemen.

We all know that we don't charge everybody the same price for our companionship, right? Well, the men who supply us with our lifestyle aren't supposed to know that!

Last night at the symposium, some serious drama went down when Demosthenes offered Lais 1,000 drachmas to entertain him for the evening. Well, Lais took one look at him and jacked the price up to 10,000 before he knew what was happening. Of course he refused (the most I've seen exchange hands this year was 3,000 drachmas), so Lais said no. To add insult to injury, she was seen leaving the Symposium with Diogenes for FREE!


Sorry gentlemen, you did yourselves a disservice when you decreed we could set our own price.

Against Neaira!

Oh boy, do I have some gossip for you! I happened to run into Apollodoros this morning during my daily trip to the market, and he told me that Neaira was in court today. UH OH SPOILER ALERT!

Apparently, Stephanos isn't her rightful husband, but simply her LOVER. Well, apparently, her Patron and OWNER Phrynion (You'll remember the two were engaged in quite a scandal a few years back when they were caught having, eh hem, relations in public) has come back to Athens and is Claiming Neaira as his own property . According to Apollodoros, Phyrnion came to her house, where she resides with Mr. S and had several of his buddies help drag her away. Well, now she's in a pickle because she literally belongs to two men.

Apollodoros tells me that the court hasn't decided where the fault lies as of yet, but he says that if she loses, she'll be forced back into slavery with Phrynion.

Good Luck, Neaira! I hate to say it, but better you than me sister!

You Know You're a Hetaera if....

This is HILARIOUS! I was at the home of one of my FAVORITE patrons Diogenes the Cynic, last night and by home (I have no idea where he lives), I mean we were drunk and laying on the steps of the Acropolis at about two in the morning. Anyway, the cynic starts rattling off a list of how you know if you're a hetaera or not...It went like this:

You know you're a hetaera if...

1. you're pretty sure you're smart enough to run the city-state and then you remember you're a woman.

2. You are drunk on the steps of the Acropolis with Diogenes the Cynic.

3. You wake up every morning and the first two things that pop into your head are, "who's this guy?" and "how do I score some breakfast without him waking up?"

4. You know the difference between rhetoric and wit. And it's aaaalll you can talk about.

5. The idea of marrying a citizen and having babies for the Polis is a fate worse than death.

6. You're posing naked for Praxiteles....again.

7. You don't get out of bed for less than 3,000 drachmas.

8. Alexander the Great has your address...and he uses it.

9. At your last trial, the only men coming to your defense are the UN-married ones.

10. You can move around Athenian society totally alone and no one beats you for breaking the law!

Um...sooooooo true! Too funny!

Congratulations To a Very Lucky Hetaera!

Well, Well, Well! A big shout out to my girl Thargelia for an amazing turnout at the symposium last night. Our little aulos flute player has come a long way!

Typically not known for her fashion sense, when Thargelia walked in last night, heads did turn. The first thing I noticed where the new robes and the new silver hair combs. I didn't think much of it at first, but later on in the evening I realized that somebody wasn't posing like a statue and playing her instrument on command like she usually does. It was then that I saw our girl flirting THREE men at the same time. I won't name names, but one's a senator, one is a very well-to-do tradesman and the other is very accomplished philosopher.

That's right, gang! Thargelia has been bought and Paid for by not one, but THREE citizens! I guess, she was so expensive, she needed a corporation to get her attention.

Congratulations, lady! No more sleeping alone in the brothel for you.

LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT!

The worst thing that could happen to a girl like me, happened. Today. In front of the temple of Dionysus. A man, I'm pretty sure he was a slave or used to be a slave. I don't know, but his hands were really rough and mangled, PROPOSITIONED ME in broad daylight, while I was entertaining a patron. I could have died!

I am so sick and tired of people getting us Hetaera confused with those sleazy Pornai! Seriously, I went to school for a long time to be able to play the lyre, recite The Iliad AND feed my lover grapes at the same time.

Okay, People, here it is straight, the Pornai? They are common prostitutes. They exchange sex for money, plain and simple. Sometimes they even have a pimp! Eeeeew!

The Hetaerae on the other hand are the groomed companions of men. We study for years to be able to hold our own in a symposium along side some of the most famous men in the world. We do not accept money for sex acts, we accept gifts for real companionship. If those gifts happen to be drachma, than so be it.

I mean, we pay taxes and can walk around on our own anywhere we want! We're practically citizens!

Does that sound like a pornai to you? I didn't think so.