You Know You're a Hetaera if....

This is HILARIOUS! I was at the home of one of my FAVORITE patrons Diogenes the Cynic, last night and by home (I have no idea where he lives), I mean we were drunk and laying on the steps of the Acropolis at about two in the morning. Anyway, the cynic starts rattling off a list of how you know if you're a hetaera or not...It went like this:

You know you're a hetaera if...

1. you're pretty sure you're smart enough to run the city-state and then you remember you're a woman.

2. You are drunk on the steps of the Acropolis with Diogenes the Cynic.

3. You wake up every morning and the first two things that pop into your head are, "who's this guy?" and "how do I score some breakfast without him waking up?"

4. You know the difference between rhetoric and wit. And it's aaaalll you can talk about.

5. The idea of marrying a citizen and having babies for the Polis is a fate worse than death.

6. You're posing naked for Praxiteles....again.

7. You don't get out of bed for less than 3,000 drachmas.

8. Alexander the Great has your address...and he uses it.

9. At your last trial, the only men coming to your defense are the UN-married ones.

10. You can move around Athenian society totally alone and no one beats you for breaking the law!

Um...sooooooo true! Too funny!